tangent #68

Eating, for me, has become a necessary evil. I don't know if i'm giving it too much weight, but biblically eating seems to be pretty big: something that's done together, a seal of friendship, unity. I rarely experience that. Ten or so years ago, this limerick came to me;

you are what you eat
i eat alone

That's still true. I can only name a handful of exceptions, mostly outside my daily culture. Among the poorest in Mexico City I never ate alone, at Bruderhof I never ate alone, with a few friends I don't eat alone. For years, I've tried to reduce the time it takes me to eat; I drink oatmeal in the morning and a shake at night. If I stray from that, it's not unusual to be at the table three hours. The last two hours (at least) are always alone. Always.

That's my first beef with communion.

This feeling was given language in 2002 when I read Vernard Eller's take on communion. He definitely saw it as a meal and went so far as to call our reduction of communion to a bite of bread and a sip of wine ludicrous.

Later that year I read Tolstoy's "What I Believe." It resonated with me on many levels and restored faith that maybe the sermon on the mount is doable. He details progressively becoming mortified with communion. I forget the specifics, but that was influence number two.

The clincher came in late 2003 when I read that symbols hold no sway over anarchists. That just made sense to me. Anarchy (possibility) was becoming the lens through which i saw the world, so, to be consistent, my last communion was in early 2004 from the hands of a Catholic. Totally wasn't planned, but i'm glad it happened that way.

Just so no one thinks it's like a 1-2-3 type deal, throw a bunch of Gandhi in the mix somewhere. His adage about religion without sacrifice weighed heavy on me, mostly regarding economics, but that's a whole nother post. Maybe someday.

Now I think it's a meal, in theory anyway.